Are you caught on fire yet?

Hmm… my thoughts last time seemed a bit dismantled. For right reason, I suppose. It was a current experiment I was trying and could not put to good words exactly what I was thinking or doing.

See, for about two weeks now I have been fascinated with silence. To make sure that I would experience some quality-focused silence time, I turned off the radio in my car. I got to analyze my thoughts, but that’s as far as that went.

Then I went to the National Symphony Orchestra’s open rehearsal. They played Brahm’s Piano Concerto #2. The piece was filled with silence! The most memorable silent moment was when the piano went on a long rant, to which I was trying to find a point, but then caught my attention with some powerful, deep drawing chords and a moving melody. After some time of the piano’s long speech, she finally caught me emotionally. And then, she ended. Not abruptly, but naturally. I felt she would end, though I didn’t want her to. I wanted the music to keep moving me. That moment was long. The suspense was indeed killing me. And then, with a joyful noise, the orchestra picked the melody back up and the piano followed. Ah, things were back to its melodious self.

Life can be like. The scenes are playing out so lovely that, though it seems natural, you refuse any change. Yet the silence between the scenes often provide the necessary scene change with ease.

Yet still this discovery did not satisfy me. My latest quest has been to question everything – even to the most tiniest degree. The nature of why there is such thing as silence is not exempted. I had the answer as to what silence can be used for (deep thinking or transitions), but not why – which, if you recall, is my whole reason for my ranting.

It finally struck me as my body was about to undergo its natural silent ritual.

Reverence.

“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our ‘God is a consuming fire.’” (Hebrews 10:28-29, NIV)

Let’s go to the place where Jesus rose early in the morning, after a busy day, to pray to His Father. Eremos Heights. (See Matt. 28:16 or Mark 6:46.) The ancient Greek describes the place as eremos topos – solitary hill. Many believe this place to be between Capernaum and Taghba, over looking the Sea of Galilee. Beth Moore describes it as “having rugged rocks of red granite and naked, windswept cliffs. A friendlier part of it is called the Eremos Hill. With its array of blossoms, birdsongs, and splendid view of lake, the area residents call it God’s Eye. It became the mountain of the new covenant, the mount of the Beatitudes.”

Imagine the brink of dawn there, the dew on your face as you communicate with your Heavenly Father. Place yourself in that setting.

What response do you have?

It’s probably safe to assume that you’re not yelling at your neighbors about the amazing view. But you’re sitting there, looking out, in awe of our Creator’s imagination.

Do you realize how powerful silence is in this instant?
Nothing is being said – but you feel His presence there, you are connecting with Him. This connection is unlike any other human connection. See, the silence provides the avenue in which you can just purely worship at His feet. Words can’t describe such a scene. Words can’t describe such a feeling. But silence provides reverence.

You are no longer concerned with yourself and mundane issues. Your focus now is on your Creator, the One who never wants this connection to end.

Listening to Silence.

It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?

I have stumbled upon some interesting thoughts these past few weeks, but nothing surpasses this current puzzle of mine:
silence.

I believe there is more to silence than just no external noise – internal noise.
The pressing thoughts in your head telling you that you’re bills are overdue.
Or the heart flutterings when someone you’re attracted to walks by.
Or when your mind frantically searches for something to say before the moment passes.

What would happen if the external and internal noises were to vanish?

“In silence we close off our souls from ‘sounds’, whether those sounds be noise, music or words. Total silence it rare, and what we call ‘quiet’ usually amounts to a little less noise. Many people have never experienced silence and do not even know that they do not know what it is.” ~Dallas Willard

If we could truly embrace on a silence that shuts our own minds up, we could see the world more clearly. We would no longer be trapped in those loud, obnoxious thoughts. Sure, they may pop up once and awhile, but you would have the skill to shut them up.

Listening to silence.
I like that. It has a nice ring to it.
And it is something that I am currently working on.

Finding Truth.

“Everyone who seeks truth with all their heart will find it.”

Around this time of year last year, I was in an apologetic study that focused on the reliability of the Bible. After some time in it, an irking question began to arise: Why do we need Jesus? Why was the cross necessary?

Ah yes, I know that we are all sinners by birth and by that very nature we deserve to be where evil resides and not where the holiest of holiest lives. This is the very great chasm between us and God. For us to relate to God, there must be a sacrifice made for these sins. Where in the Old Testament the sacrifices for forgiveness was made daily, the cross in the New Testament was the sacrifice for all sins. Yes, this much I knew, but by no means did I understand it.

So during this summer, I set out on an adventure to find the answer to this question.

The first answer was love. We use the word love so loosely that it becomes ultimately useless. Compare these two phrases: “Wow, I just love this pudding!” “You’re so amazing; I love you.” Can you get a good flavor of what love actually means in English? Eh, me either. That’s one reason for my fascination with Greek, which has four words for love (eros, storge, phileos, and agape). Agape, sacrificial love, is the highest form of love there is; the others come to mean physical affection, familial love, and brotherly love.  These words depend on others’ commitment in the relationship.  (You’re attracted to a person because they treat you well, you do kinds acts towards your family because they do so with you, etc.)  But the truest love is the love that doesn’t depend on someone’s actions, it just simply loves.
John 3:16, probably one of the most pointed-to Scripture verses in explaining Christianity, contains this love.

Alright so, love. Love is the explanation as to why God provided the sacrifice in the first place, but it didn’t explain to me why it was necessary.

So, I went back to the drawing board and questioned what caused this chasm in the first place. Sin. Yes, I said I knew it before, but much like this pressing question, I didn’t understand it effects. I mean, we all have some good, right? Well the only way to find out how much good we have is by analyzing our past (since it is our only evidence) and our motives for doing it (since, after all, love is selfless). Since I cannot analyze what you have done in your past and your motives for them, I analyzed myself.

Oh, I would like to consider myself good, or at least not as bad as others. I haven’t done drugs nor have I committed any crimes. I was top in my class. I wasn’t some messed up kid who murdered others. Therefore, I must be good, right?
Ah well, beyond these blatant and worthless judgments, I had nothing else to support that I was good.
For quite some time in my teens, I was depressed. I felt I needed to appease everyone – I needed to have good grades, play well, become successful, look thin, and be kind and obedient. This lead to a series of events that I am not too proud about – prideful to the point of shaming and hating others, addiction to pornographic images (besides the fact that’s what all the media consists these days), premarital sexual involvement, and anorexia.

My soul was black – I could no longer question that. I could no longer run from those horrid deeds and pass them off as just mere ‘oh, well it’s better than so-and-so’ excuses.

So how can a wretch black identity become white and blameless?

If black paint was spilled onto a perfect, white canvas, it is physically impossible to simply white out the stain. For the canvas to be white again, the paper attach to the wood needs to be taken off and a new paper needs to be attached.

That’s why Jesus died on the cross.
In our own strength, we cannot tear away our sinful nature.
But because of His selfless love, He tore away what should rightfully be mine – scorn, judgment, hell – and replaced it with something that cannot be ever damaged again – life.

“No man shows greater love than when a man lays down his life for his beloved.”

A much needed thanks.

“One does not write what has already been written. One writes out of the storehouse of fresh revelation and personal knowledge gained through the painful experiences of growth. You cannot escape the growing experience without forfeiting the other. You will cease writing if you cease learning. You do not learn as your write, but write as your learn.” ~ Frances Roberts, Come Away, My Beloved.

I apologize if my last post was not up-close and personal. It seemed to attack you more than it attacked me. But I too am facing my own difficult road. And if it was not for the cross, I would choose that short cut and be done with life.

I was reminded in my daily reading today to not be surprised at trials, but rather welcome them in order to participate in Christ’s suffering so that I can be overjoyed when His glory is revealed (1 Peter 4:13 – a great book, by the way, if you are currently on a road of suffering). And by welcoming these trials that means I am praising God for them.

Whenever I am in need of inspiration of praise, I turn to the Psalms. Yes, you would think that praise should automatically flow through my lips because that is what the Bible says to do. But the walk becomes more alive when the reasons for the praise make sense.

” I saw the Lord always before me.
Because He is my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will live in hope,
because you will not abandon me to the grace,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
You have made known to me the paths of life;
You will find me with joy in your presence.”    ~Psalm 16:8-11

I am always comforted by this psalm. Our Lord meets us where we are. We don’t have to do anything. That’s just what the brokenhearted need. Feeling the joy of His presence, praise then flows freely from my mouth because I know He is there.

It’s then only appropriate to give Him thanks for what suffering He has done for us.

Father, it’s only through the cross that I am alive.
Father, it’s only through the cross that I can humble myself.
Father, it’s only through the cross that I know true love.
Father, it’s only through the cross that I can experience mercy.
Father, it’s only through the cross that I can grasp grace.
Father, it’s only through the cross that I can become truly Yours.
Father, it’s only though the cross that I am saved.

You sent Your Son to die on the cross for my punishment, to save me from Your judgment.
It is for that that I am thankful.

They loved men.

“They loved praise from men more than praise from God.” ~ John 12:43

Oh, how it pangs me to hear people stop fighting the good fight. But let’s face it. The road get tough. It gets dirty. And it is such a pain to keep washing your feet in vain. Doesn’t it seem like the more you try to get on the right path, the more you fall back in the mud on the wrong path?

Ah, it’s then that the praise of men is such a welcoming feeling. Their praise tells you they accept you; it tells you that you are doing okay. Oh, my beloved! Take a look of yourself! You’re covered in mud! Would the holy Judge really be pleased by your appearance? Would you not want to look your best when our Lord comes back?

“Unless I wash you, you have no part of me.”  (John 13:8b)

But thankfully, God has sent our own personal cleaner – Jesus the Christ. He washes our sin-stained clothes, and we become white as snow! But He must wash us. Other people cannot simply do it. How can a naturally dirty person know what clean looks like?

Oh beloved, do not lose heart. Jesus leaves no orphans. He will return to you when you lose heart because He is always with you.

Preserve the long, hot, dry race!
Remember, it’s easier to submit to any of your authority figures when the decision is in your terms.
It’s easy to fast when you’re not hungry.
It’s easy to worship when things are going good.
It’s easy to sing when the music is just right.
It’s easy when the path is easy.

But we’re called to live a higher life. Stop traveling on that foolish low road, and gather your belongings to begin on the high road.

Let’s take a walk.

Let’s face it, life is rough from the beginning. No wonder why children cry when they come out of the womb. Could you imagine the thoughts that rush through their mind when they enter this world? It was comfortable and warm there, Mommy. The doctor looks scary. Why is he wearing a mask? Do I smell? Oh no, he’s picking me up! I don’t want to leave you, Mommy.

And then we grow up. Or at least we think so. Physically, I am at an adult height with an adult body, but my thoughts can often reflect the baby’s. Father, why are you doing this to me? Haven’t I endured enough already? I don’t want to move. I was comfortable there. Why does this have to happen? I know everything brings You glory, but do I really have to walk through the valley to glorify You?

Let us be sure that the physical reality and conditions are only the scenic view. As we are journeying through this life, our scenery may become absolutely horrendous, like hell is sprouting forth from the ground. And then that short-cut in the distance may seem so easy to take. But who says that that short-cut won’t take you some place worse?

In Come Away, My Beloved, Frances Roberts beautifully portrays the Lord’s thoughts on our journey through the valley:

“Did I not say that we must go into the valley together? I have given you the enjoyment of My fellowship on the mountaintop to prepare you  for the ministry in the valley of service. Take the glory of the mountaintop with you; take My presence, My light, My love. This is not the valley of personal darkness – this is the valley where you will find those who need the touch of blessing you can bring…. So yield yourself to the moving of the Spirit in your heart, and minister as I arrange your contacts, without looking around to make your own choices. Leave the planning to the Head. This is My work. Let each abide in his place, yielding completely to My Spirit, nourished by My love. and ministering in self-sacrifice.”

It’s imperative that we walk in the valley. Muscles do not strengthen by lifting weak weights or by being invalid. Muscles strengthen when the muscular tissues tear apart to make room for new tissue.

Before Jesus was arrested and betrayed, he walked through the Kidron Valley to reach the Garden of Gethsemane. (See John 18:1-3.) The Kidron Valley has an interesting history. King David crossed it to escape his wicked son (2 Samuel 15:23-30). King Asa burned pagan idols and asherah poles (1 Kings 15:13).  Jesus traveled through it to visit Lazarus and raise him from the dead (John 11 and 12), and he also made his Triumphal Entry from this path (Luke 19:28-44). (For more information, go to All About Archeology.)

The time in the valley is uncomfortable, yes. But there will be a day when we arrive at our destination – and it may not be an earthly destination! Keep your eyes on the prize, beloved. The Kingdom awaits!

“For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven—God-made, not handmade—and we’ll never have to relocate our “tents” again. Sometimes we can hardly wait to move—and so we cry out in frustration. Compared to what’s coming, living conditions around here seem like a stopover in an unfurnished shack, and we’re tired of it! We’ve been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less.” (2 Corinthians 5:1-5, The Message.)